Buzzer Beater!

What's the expiration on one of these "tags"? Hopefully I'm getting this in under the wire before it's considered too rude, Kerri.

TEN YEARS AGO...
I was in the final area of my mission serving as the Branch President outside Mar Del Plata, Argentina. I think I was in Elder Ryan Elison's zone at the time never suspecting that 10 years later his future wife would one day be asking me what I was doing 10 years earlier. Little known fact about this time in my mission: My first official action as BP was to assign my companion, Elder Nunez, to be the Relief Society President. You might think I'm trying to be funny, but it's true. He was the best RSP I've seen in all my days. Elder Elison, if you remember his most defining personality trait, you'll understand why he seemed predisposed to excel at that particular calling. The AP's responsible for assigning that companionship apologize whenever I talk to either of them.

This area was easily the toughest assignment of my mission. It was a new area with the only churchgoers being those inactive members who had moved there from other parts of the country only to find that there was no local church congregation, and those new members and investigators the the new missionaries were teaching. That explains why Elder Nunez and I were among the most qualified to be the BP and RSP. There was, however, one little gem of a family who ended up helping us find a suitable makeshift chapel and rented us a little apartment in their backyard. He was one of the long-time members who had stopped attending church when he moved to the town. We were grooming him to be the new Branch President--until we discovered that he had been having some affairs outside of his marriage and had bankrolled a pair of abortions that resulted from those pursuits. To make matters worse, when his wife confronted him with the evidence he went into suicide mode and I was assigned to go into disciplinary council mode. The last 2 months of my mission were spent trying to ensure his family's safety, keeping him alive, and being a single, 21-year old marriage counselor and spiritual advisor to an deeply troubled man. The police and local authorities were no help for the first two roles and, looking back, the Mission President and Stake President, bless their hearts, could have probably offered a little more assistance, too, on the last part.

What? You're still reading after that depressing little tangent?
FIVE THINGS TO DO TODAY...
1. Set DVR to CBS.
2. Take kids swimming and to the park while Megan hosts a baby shower.
3. Spring Cleaning.
4. Catch up on the March Madness I missed in the morning
5. More, live, March Madness.

IF I WERE SUDDENLY A BILLIONAIRE:
1. I'd quit my job. I like my job--but I don't go to my job every morning just because there's nothing else I'd rather be doing.
2. I would never sing "If I Were a Rich Man" because when you're a billionaire it just makes you sound ungrateful.
3. I'd buy my wife the closet organizer and dresser she asked for in her "tag" answers. Who knew something like that would make her Billionaire Top 3? Hey--If it's that important to her, then it's that important to me. What a sad commentary on my abilities as a provider... Wow. I guess we do have our differences, though. In the strange workings of my brain "ONE BILLION DOLLARS" and "buying a new dresser" don't occupy even the same lobe. After buying the closet organizer I'd start considering a few donations to the causes Megan mentioned in her TAG.
4. I'd buy a helicopter for my dad. I could think of a thousand things I'd get for my parents and in-laws if all of the sudden I could afford exotic, extravagant things. None of them really require much, though. My parents and Megan's parents have worked hard to give their kids very comfortable lives and it would be a lot of fun to be able to pay them back, financially at least.
5. Finally, the most obvious one: Build a replica set of THE PRICE IS RIGHT in my new supersized basement (which would require me to buy a significantly bigger house). How cool would you be if you could invite your whole neighborhood over for a "game night" like that? "It's a new living room set from Broyhill!" They'd go crazy! I think Bob Barker is still alive to host the parties. If he's not, I could probably afford to bring him back--if only for one last show.

BAD HABITS:
1. Getting to work only to realize that I left my computer at home.
2. Coming home only to realize that I left my phone at work.
3. Getting to bed on time. My productivity peaks after normal people are already in bed. Update: I just did some research on why this is the case, and the definition of Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome fits me 100%. If I have DSPS, it's bad genetics, and not just a bad habit. I'd prefer not to have to take responsibility, if I can help it.

Places I have lived:
1. Utah
2. Argentina
3. El Salvador
4. Indiana
5. California

Jobs that I have had:
1. Media-teer, Pahvant Elementary (Pro-bono; Mrs. Gledhill sent me to work in the school's library to keep me from disrupting her 5th grade class.)
2. Lawncare/Home healthcare (we had an elderly clientele), Green Oke's Lawn Care
3. Pizza Delivery Dude, Brick Oven
4. Forklift Maniac, Polynesian Cultural Center
5. Consumer Loan Officer, A bank.
6. Various Commercial Banking Positions, A bigger bank.

Somthing people don't know about me:
1. I lettered in Drama in high school. In about 1995, at the behest of the H.S. drama teacher, a friend and I joined the high school drama team 3 days before the regional competition. After practicing a comedic pantomime routine for approximately 30 minutes, we won the regional competiton and then went on to "take state." If the drama clubbers had known how to fight, they probably would have killed us when they overheard us laughing on the bus ride home about what a farce a competition must be if two jokesters can win with so little practice competing against people who have been meticulously preparing for 3-4 years.